Updates.

It's been a little while since I've blogged. To be honest, I've not had time to sit down and have a really good moment to myself since Sami got out of the hospital. I've been playing catch up with laundry, dishes, toys, floors, etc. When mommy is gone for 2 days, everything goes to.. Well.. You know.

So Sami had another hospital trip. I don't remember exactly what day in February, but it was a Monday. I took her to the doc because she had a fever and just wasn't acting like herself at all. So her pediatrician (who I LOVE), sent us to get some x-rays of her chest and some bloodwork to rule out pneumonia and an infection. They prescribed a pedialite-only diet until her labs came back. Didn't say anything about tylenol so once we were out in the car on the way to get the labs/x-rays done, I gave her the recommended amount of tylenol. Maybe a little less. The x-rays were horrible. They had her in this cocoon contraption that looked like some torture device from way back when torture was an acceptable form of punishment. I felt horrible for my little girl, but I thought that the worst was yet to come. Blood work. I was terrified. I can't stand seeing my baby poked. But she did GREAT! She didn't like the tournequette, but once that came off, the needle didn't even bother her! I cried harder and the lady gave ME the sticker. WOOHOO!

So we take her home, away from all the "bad" people and settle in for the night. Dinner is cooked and ate. House is clean. Big kids are in bed. The night is finally mine and I claim a victory for us. I'm sitting in bed, feeding Samantha and playing FarmTown (DON'T JUDGE ME) and I burp her once she's finished. Chris is downstairs, of course playing Call of Duty (I love the man, but that xbox will be the death of me, I swear). I make sure Samantha is dry and I pick her up with her paci and blanket. I nearly laid her in her crib but she squirmed and I decided against it. She'd just scream once I got down the stairs and I'd have to walk back up them to get her and I'm just a little too worn out for that at the time. So I swaddled her and brought her downstairs with me while I watched Chris play a round of CoD.

At this point, Samantha is still twitchy and I immediately thought "This is strange".. I don't know. I had that mommy intuition. Something was wrong. At first I thought she was dreaming, which she does twitch in her sleep but only for a brief second before she's calm again, but this lasted too long. A minute at the most. So I pulled her away from me and focused on her face. It was dark, so it was hard to see. I jumped up and turned on the light and looked again. Her lips, eyelids and hands were blue. I swear, I never want to see that color blue/purple again.

I immediately ask Chris if he's coming with me to the hospital or if he was staying home. He is usually the one to tell me I'm over reacting and that I should just calm down but he reacted so quickly that it didn't reassure me like it should have, but it scared me. When he thinks it's an emergency, it's got to be damn convincing. He ran upstairs and grabbed Corbin out of bed and we threw them in the car. (Aeric stayed with our room mate at the time) I jumped in the back seat with Sami and off we went. I swear I don't remember a second of the trip until we got there. I know I was shaking and crying but I don't remember going through the main gates or anything.

We pulled in and I already had Sami unhooked from her seat and in my arms at that point. I ran through the door with her still slightly twitching and said "I think something's wro..." and the triage nurse (as if she knew I was coming) stood up in the window and snatched her from me. This was the single most helpless moment in my life. Watching someone take my little girl from me and run. I wanted to fall in the floor and die. I no longer had to be strong, because she was in good hands. PMO were there and helped keep me calm until the nurse came back to get me but it was hardly the distraction they wanted it/I needed it to be. When the nurse grabbed me to go back, it was like slow motion. Just like the movies. I know I probably ran, but it felt SO slow. Once we got to the trauma room, I see a team of nurses hovering around a lady holding Sami nearly upside down. Apparently, she projectile vomitted once they got her back. She had oxygen on and they were starting an IV. I requested that my husband be brought back immediately and he was in the room a short time later.

It was discovered that she had an ALTE (alty). an Acute Life Threatening Episode. The doctor said something about a febrile seizure caused by an infection. We aren't sure what the infection is because they gave her an antibiotic shot before they ran tests because her white cell count was high. I don't blame them. It helped bring down her fever, also. I'm thankful. I just wish we knew what the infection was.

We spent 2 days in the hospital, event free and we were discharged with outpatient appointments for tests to determine whether or not she has reflux in her kidneys (when she empties her bladder, the urine refluxes back into the kidneys). I forget what it's called. I'm certain she doesn't. Here's why.

The weekend previous to this hospital visit, my oldest son had the stomach virus that's been going around. I mentioned this to the pediatrician. He said that if she had it, she'd be puking.. Which isn't entirely true. I had it also, and never puked. Just got really nauseated and had a fever. Corbin also ended up with it, and he didn't puke, he just had yucky poo. So, at her follow up appointment 2 days after discharge, she started vomitting. Not spit up, but actual heaving, wretching, PUKE. There was her infection. Her body fought it off. Good job.

We will still have the tests done.

So since then, I've been a paranoid fool about her. She no longer sleeps in her crib, but next to me in her car seat. Why? Because the doctor said that had I laid her in her crib that night instead of bringing her downstairs with me like I had, she probably wouldn't have made it through the night. She would have more than likely asphyxiated on her own vomit. That makes me shiver thinking about it.

But she's home and.. Well.. She's home. She's healthy.. But not happy right now. Teething. On top of all the other things going on, she's teething hardcore right now. Screaming in her sleep. She's SO tired, but her gums hurt so she's got her eyes closed but she's still hollering at me. Yay. After two "silent" teethers, I've got my fussy one.

So, what else? Nothing comes close in comparison to that event.. But nothing else really has gone down since then. Just a whooooole lot of me running around cleaning.

Oh, Aeric almost cut his finger off while I was sick. Okayy.. That's a little dramatic, but he did cut himself damn good with one of my ginsu knives that my mommy in law got for Chris and I on Christmas. I love her for them, because they're AMAZING, but now I just need to drill it into my son's head that they aren't for stabbing soap packets for the dishwasher. *ahem* I was laying on the couch, shivering but hot.. Fever was 103 at the time (because I had just taken my temp and texted my hubby that I might need to go to the doc if the tylenol didn't start working soon), and I was just closing my eyes. Corbin was napping, Sami was in her swing fast asleep and I trusted Aeric to behave himself. Yea, I must've been delirious.

All of a sudden and I don't know why, I started thinking that something bad was going to happen because it was so quiet. I wondered what Aeric was getting into upstairs because that's where I had sent him to play so that I could rest. For some reason I thought "If something bad happens, I won't be able to do a damn thing about it, and neither will Chris because I've got the car." And just as I finished that thought and started drifting off into a peaceful rest, I heard a thud and an instant later heard "Mommy!" That panic voice from my oldest and I knew. I knew what happened. I suddenly felt 110% better and jumped off the couch like I was perfectly okay only to see blood squirting from his finger.

Now, if you know me.. You know my tolerance for my kids' blood. If I see it, I pass out. No ifs ands or buts. I see it, smell it, whatever. I'm out. Well, I guess my body realized that there was no one around to help and as sick as I began feeling and as badly as I was heaving, I managed to wrap his finger in a bounty paper towel (props to that company, btw. very absorbent.*wink*) before I ran to the bathroom to spew. Once I pulled myself together, I called Chris and told him I was on my way, that we may need stitches.. I managed to make it to base after pulling over twice to puke. The smell. The smell of blood in that enclosed space was horrid.

I still hadn't been able to survey the wound, all I know is I saw blood squirting at me, and no papercut sized cut will do that. It had to be something worse and "something worse" usually always required medical attention. So Chris gets to look at it and decides that because it's on his knuckle, that they won't stitch it and we go home. Chris plays doctor, cleans it and wraps it and the excitement is over. *phew* I can lay down now, right? WRONG. Dinner. Ugh!

When does mommy get a sick day? LOL!

So other than those TWO things, it's just been me cleaning and dealing with a teething princess. The stomach flu has vacated our house and I've been a lysoling FREAK!

So.. There's my update. I'll be around LOTS more... I'll post some pics tomorrow that I've taken since my last post. Goodnight!

Corbin, Corbin, Corbin...

I've decided on an update on all three kids.. Since Corbin is the only one running around like a wild man right now, he's first. Completely out of order, but oh well.

The things he's learning is amazing to me. He's such an affectionate, loving, cuddly kid... ONE MINUTE.. The next, he's trying to "de-fur" the cat. For what? I don't know.. My 15 month old (soon to be 16 month old) is bipolar, it seems. It's okay, the shoes fits and he comes by it honestly.

He's learning new words daily. His constant favorite lately seems to be "okay!" which is the exact opposite of what every other kid his age seems to be saying, which is "no!" He says "nink nink" for "drink" (we think) and he's used the big boy potty, twice. Just last year he was Sami's age.. Where does time go?

Here's my youngest boy's story:

I'll start close to the beginning. Chris and I got married on October 1, 2007. It wasn't until December 31, 2007 that we were able to move in with each other and have alone time. Corbin was conceived the very next month. January 28th, 2008. It was pretty important that we know the date. I'm a freak about knowing dates.

Fast forward to February 14th, 2008. Walking through walmart, I brushed my arm against my chest and I thought "Holy crap, that hurts.. Great here comes Flo!" and I started counting on my fingers from the date of my last period.. "F*#K! 30 days." Uh ohs. That's 2 days past my average cycle length. I counted and double counted probably a few times as we walked through the store and as we passed the "family planning" section of the store (which is ironically RIGHT next to the tampons, pads and cures for the dirties) I slipped an HPT into the cart. Chris saw it and raised an eyebrow and I just ignored it. I didn't feel like getting his hopes up and then watching them crash. He had a huge fear of being sterile and thought the day would never come when he'd hold his own baby..

So we check out. Thank GODS because I have to pee so bad, I'm dancin'. So Chris says in the car, "Let's go to Best Buy." I'm screaming internally. I don't want him to know I'm taking this test, because I don't want him to get depressed again and have to relive his fear I mentioned earlier. So I'm like, "Alright. Let's. But I have to pee.. Watch Aeric." I wait til he parks and gets out of the car before I frantically rip open the box and stuff a test in my hoodie pocket and book it for the restroom. This isn't classy.. Pregnancy test in Best Buy. That's some stuff that belongs in Palatka.. If Palatka had a Best Buy. I will skip the details. I took the test. Negative. SHIT. Again. Negative. I'm a little sad but continue about my business and walk out to wash my hands. Forgot the test on the toilet paper dispenser. I hurry back in and grab it before someone walks in and sees my deed. As I reach down to pick it up to stuff it into the trash, I took one last look and praise be to God, POSITIVE. My entire body went cold and I know I turned liquid paper white because there was no blood in my face. I could feel it.

I walked out of the bathroom, and Chris was waiting there with Aeric who was sitting in the cart. I looked at him and went "Baby." and he was like "What?" and I said "No... BABY." and the look on his face was classic. I can't even begin to describe every emotion that flooded over him. It was disbelief, shock, excitement, happiness and terror all at once. We originally went in there to look at the TVs but left with a much better present. A positive HPT. I handed it to him in the car. Two lines. Happy Valentines Day, baby.

First person we called was our friends, Amber and Chris. (Yep, we share names. LOL) They knew Chris' fear better than anyone. They knew his anxiety about never having a baby of his own. They were excited, possibly more than we were at the moment. LOL. It hadn't sunk in for me yet..

The 9 months was pretty uneventful. He sent me into early labor twice and then in the end, refused to come. I was induced and he came into the world screaming on October 18, 2007 at 3:21am. 9lbs 5.4oz 20" long.

My love. Chris' first boy.

Snow!!

Being a born and raised Floridian, snow is a big deal to me. I go crazy over it, and I get so jealous when other people tell me how they've got 20" of the stuff. So when it snowed here Friday night into Saturday morning, we were all pretty excited. Being this close to the coast line, we didn't expect anything more than a dusting.. But we were quite surprised when we woke up to a virtual winter wonderland.

This was about 8pm est, when I walked outside to walk Beans and thought "OMG OMG OMG!" Yes. I actually said O-M-G.

About a quarter after 9. So an hour and 15 minutes passed and we had about an inch. The weather channel still forcasted us for about 8 more hours of steady snow, but said we were only supposed to get 3". I knew this wasn't so because we already had an inch in such a short time. I kept waking up in the middle of the night and staring out my window in amazement. I was like a kid on Christmas morning when I woke up to this:

It's like the scene right off of a post card. A Florida Native's dream.

Street level. 6:45am. Yea. I woke up before the kids. :)

Our front yard. We got about 8". It was pretty exciting for the kids as well.. Corbin saw snow last year, but he was only a couple months old at the most so he doesn't remember. This was Sami's first. She didn't see too much of it due to her RSV, I didn't want to take her out in the damp cold air and risk a relapse after she's been doing so well.

She looks that surprised all the time. Don't worry.

Valentines.

Thank goodness today is finally OVER!! I do not really like Valentines day. I'm sorry, it's just not a real holiday and most people do not even know what Valentine's day is. To them it's a holiday used mainly for men to get laid. To procreate.. Way to go Hallmark.. You're part of the reason for over population and global warming. :)



It's an insence burner. The smoke comes from the mouths and ears of the dragons. I love it. Got it for Chris. He's the Dragon fanatic.




Something else I absolutely love. It's a fountain. The water rotates the "crystal" ball. Under the ball is LED lights that change color. It's very pretty in the dark.



My bear. I collect bears from all holidays. So far the kids each have one from Christmas, New Years and Valentines. I have bears from every Valentine's that Chris and I have been together. :) Not to mention bears and bunnies he gets me just because. :)

We also got these for each other today:



Yea. We've been planning on getting inked together for a long time, but never have.. I've wanted a tattoo since just before we discovered that Corbin was on his way. So I planned on getting one in February last year, but a year ago today we discovered that Samantha was on the way.. So my tattoo plans were put on hold once again. (Not that I mind) So today, we drove past Bombs Away Tattoos here in Jacksonville, NC and I said "Let's go get tattoos!" and we did..



I'll have a finished pic of Chris' tattoo soon. :)

07 Feb 2010: The Memorials.

Our Vietnam Memorial. Jacksonville, NC. Always a very emotional time for me. Reading the names, I always wonder where they are from or what kind of family they had. Did they have kids or were they just kids themselves? Did they even have the opportunity to complete high school? There's so many questions... No answers. Bless the families of the men and women listed on this wall.


Beirut Memorial.

On October 23, 1983 during the Lebanese Civil War, two truck bombs struck separate buildings housing United States and French military forces—members of the Multinational Force in Lebanon—killing 299 American and French servicemen.





In the attack on the American Marines barracks, the death toll was 241 American servicemen: 220 Marines, 18 Navy personnel and three Army soldiers, along with sixty Americans injured, representing the deadliest single-day death toll for the United States Marine Corps since the Battle of Iwo Jima of World War II, the deadliest single-day death toll for the United States military since the first day of the Tet Offensive during the Vietnam War, and the deadliest single attack on Americans overseas since World War II. In addition, the elderly Lebanese custodian of the Marines' building was killed in the first blast. The explosives used were equivalent to 5,400 kg (12,000 pounds) of TNT.







Our 9/11 Memorial.

Erected in memory of the Americans lost in this senseless attack. I think this one is still fresh enough in our minds that I do not need to explain... Just continue to pray for these families, our police force, firefighters, our military still fighting and our country. God bless the USA!

Warning: Cute Overload.

I have to thank my good friend Ashley Renz for inspiring me to do this. Truth is, I've always had this idea, but lacked the motivation. After seeing her blog I thought to myself that I needed to get started on showing off my new obsession: Photography.

I am by NO MEANS anywhere near professional, but everyone starts somewhere. Right?

The first set of pictures that I want to show off were among the first ever taken with my beloved Nikon D3000.. I never thought I could love a piece of plastic and glass and much as I do.. And for the price, the camera really should have a "BJ" option for my husband because he paid for it. Thanks baby. ;)



My beautiful Samantha Brielle (SamBri, as I often refer to her as). Born September 30, 2009 @ 8:12am weighing in at 7lbs 12oz. 19" long with a head FULL of curls. Such a beautiful little girl, she has given me everything I've ever wanted. A daughter to lead through life, and show her how a mother is supposed to be.. TO somehow right the wrong doings of my own mother.. To break the cycle of abuse and neglect. I love and cherish this little girl and will stand behind her every day of her life, regardless of her decisions. I love you Sami Brielle!




My oldest and most stubborn. Aeric. From day one has been a TRUE Aries baby. Arrogant and fearless. He's brilliant. He's mouthy. He's HYPER. He is 100% boy and is the very reason I am alive today to write this blog. He saved my life in 2003. When I found out I was pregnant with him, I was definitely NOT on the road to anything positive. I drank way too much and was involved with the wrong crowd until the day I found out that I was carrying him. My life did a 180 that night, and I've not looked back. Thank you, son. You're my saving grace.






Last, but certainly not least.. My middle child. Corbin Scott. The quiet one, sometimes. The affectionate, dependant little boy that every mother dreams of having. Born October 18, 2008. My pumpkin blessed us a few days early. He's so loving, nurturing and sensitve. He's my little shadow, until daddy comes home. Then he's the biggest Daddy's boy. My pregnancy with him was such an awesome experience. I'll never forget those 9 months.

Through my pregnancy with him, I met some of the MOST AMAZING MOMMIES that I've ever met. They've pretty much changed my opinion about online friends. I trust them before I trust some people I've known for years.

I'll be adding more pictures to this blog pretty much daily, I think. We'll see. I'm not promising anything. As a Gemini, I lose interest in things like the weather changes. Follow me. :)